If you’re a person who doesn’t breathe, raise your hand! Okay, we all breathe–who doesn’t? But how many of us that have been breathing properly from the moment light hit our eyes? “C’mon, ” I can hear you saying, “I breathe in and I breathe out. I could do this before I could make a noise!”
You are probaby aware that babies have a tendency of catching their breath if tossed in the air, blown on, or even shifted unexpectedly. You do that too! We all do, but not as obviously. We tend to catch our breath when we’re uncomfortable. We stop breathing to brace ourselves–to prepare. But the timing isn’t always to our benefit.
Let’s say you’re having a “discussion” with someone who, despite your extreme patience, refuses to acknowledge what you’re saying. The fact you have this person understand is paramount this time, and the point must be made. What do you do? You can’t really throttle him (especially if this is in a working environment), but this issue needs to be resolved. Forcing him to listen isn’t an option because even though you can force him to hear you, you cannot force him to contemplate what you’re saying. What can you do? Excuse yourself, ask him to give you a few moments. Chances are, unless he simply loves to fight, he will allow this because if nothing else, he will have time to go gather ammunition of his own.
Find a place where you can be alone, whether it’s in your car, in a spare office, or in extreme circumstances–the restroom. Hey it may not be top choice, but it can work!
When you’re in your place of relaxation, make sure you are sitting up tall. Your brain needs oxygen to work clearly and if you don’t believe that, clasp your hands around your throat and see how long you can think clearly! Seriously though, your oxygen system is like a garden hose, and when you collapse or pinch the hose, the full potential isn’t there which causes lack of fluency.
So sit tall and close your eyes. Pretend you can see your lungs swelling gradually as the capacity grows and shrinks. The air entering your nostrils, pushing the air through your throat and out your mouth. The air is clean and airy, as a light blue as it comes in, and as you release it, it is a dark purple, polluted with all the garbage your mind needs to expel.
Now imagine your diaphragm expanding slowly, as a balloon, while you count to four calmly and quietly to yourself. Hold the light blue air for two seconds, watching it change color to the violet color before you exhale, releasing it. Continue doing this a few more times, until you notice your breathing has returned to a subdued state.
The air coming into your lungs is coming through your nose and it brings a cool feeling into your body, expanding to it’s fullest capacity. Again, you hold it for two seconds, as it becomes warm and dark, before you exhale through your mouth. You can actually feel the temperature changing between breaths; cool coming in and warm going out.
Now, your eyes are working, even though they’re closed. You can see the stars speckled in the night sky, as you stand at the top of a hill in a field that goes on forever. The night is clear enough you can make out millions of stars, getting brighter and brighter as your eyes adjust. But there’s one, right in the middle of your view, that stands out. It’s smaller than the others and it is a bright blue. You continue breathing in… and out… as you watch the star, gradually growing.
The more immense the star grows, the lighter it becomes until it appears to be taking up your entire field of vision as a pure and blazing white entity. The heat from it beams across your face warm and inviting, until your entire body is full of heat. The heat is hot, but comfortable, as you reach out your fingers. The light touches your fingertips, causing an electrical impulse, while it climbs in toward your wrists and up your arms.
Your shoulders absorb the heat. Your fingers and arms grow limp and lifeless. The heat climbs up your neck, into your head and fills your mind with the motion of bright and tiny specks of light. They begin to travel smoothly down your throat as if you’re drinking it. Down through your chest and into your diaphragm as you continue breathing in and out, at a comfortable rate.
You can still feel the alertness of your body as it awakens, yet remains still. The warmth travels down the tops of your legs, numbing as it makes it way to your feet. You feel your toes flex and expand, releasing the purple light in pulses. With each pulse the blue light invades your body, filling you full of good feelings. With time you feel the vibration, you’re getting rid of tension… another breath and pulse releasing doubt… another breath and pulse releasing any fear you may have… and finally, you release any negativity you may have.
As the negative feelings begin to drain, your fingers gain their sensation and coolness flows up your arms, through your shoulders and up into your neck. Your toes are empty now of the violet light and coolness spreads up your shins, to your knees, up through your hips. It spreads into your organs, leaving them feeling calm and relaxed.
Take another deep breath, and with this breath, the coolness swarms through your organs up into your neck with the initial light. Together they climb up the inside of your skull, past your ears, behind your eyes, to meet at the top as they fill your head with a dull buzzing.
Your head is full now, but not of anxiety… it’s full of calm, cool, gentle feelings–feelings that allow you to think clearly, effectively and rationally. Now you’ll be able to come up with a way to not only describe what you wanted to tell your companion, but you’ll be able to do it so precisely he’ll be more accepting to see things your way.
The best part of this exercise is that once you learn to master your emotions, you’ll be able to obtain just about anything you want from meeting people for the first time, to asking for a raise with confidence.