Not to be insensitive, but there are so many people who should be on the lot for permanent sales, that end up in the rent district until there’s finally the bold sign in the window- “No Vacancy” when it comes to dating.
Four o’clock in the morning, I jolt upright in the bed with the biggest epiphany I’ve ever had (which isn’t uncommon). Why do I always seem to end up in a bad relationship with someone who is self-serving and sometimes down-right-cruel? In fact, at age 44, with two kids, I finally decided I was incapable of choosing a decent companion, but it isn’t about who I choose, it’s about attracting the right suitors.
Trust me, experience was screaming loud enough to awaken me this morning, so I knew my revelation had to be big, and it was! In my attempt to break it down in a description everyone understands here is an analogy, as are often used in my talks; this time “bees.”
When you have considered males are bees and women are flowers, you need to ask yourself, “Why are bees attracted to the flower?” Is it for the beauty of the petals? That’s what we may think; all bright and perky, drawing attention to themselves. While this may have been the case initially, it is not what causes the insect to linger.
Everyone has been in a bad relationship somewhere, whether it’s a business environment or on a personal level, even romantic. What caused the relationship to flourish or go belly up? Some people have considered it to be instinctual, chance or fate, or perhaps one person tried harder or cared more than the other. Although they are good guesses, they are incorrect.
It’s the nectar produced that keeps the bees there once attracted. If they can get what they came for, in over-abundance, without having to do much to work for it, they’d be foolish to go elsewhere, wouldn’t they? But when that flower becomes empty, they move onto the next! So it is with people.
The little things; love notes, phone calls, romantic meals seem like they are the nectar… but they aren’t. They’re still the flower or what the initial attraction was, the nectar was deeper–emotional–how much the flower needed the bee. The flower which has exuded the most nectar was the easiest to gather from, or the woman who was so insecure all the conversations rotated around her.
Women who have talked about themselves aren’t conceited or selfish as much as they are uncomfortable; the silence is deafening. Plus, they want to express things about themselves so that the men know that the woman understands. Silence should NEVER be deafening, and just because he is silent doesn’t mean he’s thinking something negative or any additional information is needed. Encourage him to talk about himself! Be a bit mysterious. You’ll be surprised how well it works!
You’ve heard the term, “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?” The same goes for the overabundant flower giving too much information, or nectar, to the bee.
So take down the “no vacancy” sign and have no sign at all! If you happen to meet someone at the grocery store, a friend’s gathering, church, or anywhere else, think before you speak, and talk little of yourself. It’s a difficult habit to overcome, but definitely worth the sale in the end!