Barbie has a degree in medicine, a penthouse, a corvette, mobile home, with lots and lots of clothes that would drive any sane woman crazy with exhilaration! If I had that many clothes, I’d never leave my closet! But seriously, all of those things are are about money, and nobody (even Bill Gates) can outdo Barbie here!
Honestly, I’m not too concerned about having a penthouse, or an RV. I’d prefer a fuel-efficient car and a quiet home in the woods–with her boyfriend, Ken! They’ve been dating for 50 years now, you know. Their anniversary was March 11, 2011, and they are the oldest couple I know who’ve dated the longest without getting married. Talk about “keeping it fresh!”
That’s the kind of relationship I want; attractive, superficial, and full of fun! I hear all you “nay-sayers” out there; “What a cracker, wishing for a relationship with a doll… one that’s been taken for 50 years, no less!” Take your negativity and stuff it in your coffee pot because Ken doesn’t have to be told to take out the garbage. He never whines about having to fuel the car. He never has the ugly scruff on his face in the morning or bad breath, for that matter. Ken will never come home sobbing that he lost his job, and he doesn’t complain about the style in which Barbie’s house is decorated. (Let’s face it, all pink? That’s an accomplishment already!) And you never hear him even suggest that Barbie should watch what she eats to maintain her 22″ waistline!
With all that being said, I find it safe to say this… as soon as Barbie dumps Ken, no matter how old he is, I’ll be right there on the porch. Leftovers, you say? With a record like his, he kicks butt over real men! “Walmart, I’ll take one please!” Oh, I’m kidding! I want the one on the Barbie site with a T-shirt, jeans, brown hair tosseled to one side, with his rippling biceps… empty biceps. Where did Barbie go?